ok, so the time for a new blog post is, once again, long overdue. i’m not sure who exactly is out there reading this, but it’s funny how knowing that people are looking periodically for something new on here makes me feel so much more accountable than i would otherwise. this made me begin to wonder: am i only posting random tidbits of my life out of a sense of…obligation isn’t really the right word, but it’s all that comes to mind…? and the answer - short, simple, and sweet (unlike most of what i have to say) - is a resounding no.
as i begin to set down new roots in this new place that i have yet to become totally comfortable calling “home,” i find that, while i am a teacher by trade, it is the role of learner that i am playing most frequently these days. it has been quite some time since i can say i’ve had a day in which i did not make some discovery, marginally interesting or life-altering (although the latter of these occur much less often), about myself. i’ve learned how much i genuinely enjoy serving people to whom i owe nothing and from whom i will most undoubtedly never receive any credit, let alone praise. i’ve learned that life is much more pleasant when you’re in good company; moreover, i’ve learned that i am good company, be it to my friends or to myself. i’ve learned that my culinary skills need some work. i’ve learned that my God-given abilities can be used in so many more ways than i ever imagined. i’ve learned that if you live in texas, you will swiftly become a master of the u-turn. i’ve learned to appreciate the innocence of children, whether they are too young to realize the corrupt world around them or too teenaged to realize that it still exists within them. i’ve learned that the tollway is almost always faster…even if it is more expensive. i’ve learned that most people just want to know that you care. i’ve learned that i can’t do it all…and i’m learning how to discern between what i should and shouldn’t take on. i’ve learned to become comfortable accepting, admitting, and even saying to others that i am okay…even good…at things without worrying about coming across as haughty or arrogant. i’ve learned that i don’t mind traffic as much as i thought i would. i’ve learned that my family is amazing and i have been so fortunate for the privilege of knowing them and seeing them so frequently throughout my life. i’ve learned that i am slowly, but surely, becoming a conglomeration of my father and my grandfather (although with twice as much naivete and half as many corny preacher jokes). i’ve also learned that, in my book, there is no higher compliment i could ever be paid than to be compared to either of these men. i’ve learned what an amazing example of selfless sacrifice my parents have been throughout my life. and i’ve learned that i never have, and probably never will fully convey to them how much that means to me and how much i appreciate everything that they’ve done.
and, coming back to my original train of thought, in my short time here in houston i have learned that i am fascinated by the ability of some people to mold the words of the english language into a palette of colors and then use that array, by way of thousands of differents strokes of their ‘brush’, to let others in on the images, the ideas, the ramblings, and the ponderances inside their heads, however prolific or banal they may be.
so no. i do not write this solely as an obligation for anyone. i write because i enjoy it. i write because it is my art (i never was much of a painter)…even if it isn’t exactly high art.
and i write because the immensity of some things is simply too big to be expressed anywhere but on the page.
